The Big Blur Blog

Susan Thacker

During an artist residency in California, in 2006, I started a blog.

I was alone in a wood and glass cabin, on a mountaintop property overlooking the ocean in Big Sur. No cellphone reception, no cable connection; all I had for company was myself and a nearby horse. It was a major departure from hectic decades in Los Angeles, building an art practice, while simultaneously being a mother of three and a wife. This was a pivotal time, acknowledged by peers as an artist in my favorite place on earth. I needed to share this once-in-a-lifetime experience. My thoughts and revelations came to be called The Big Sur Blog.

Immediately following the two month residency, everything changed. The Big Sur dream degraded into an LA nightmare. My marriage imploded, I lost the house we built, lost faith, and for some time, my identity.

I remember driving a U-Haul truck loaded with my possessions, traversing the Lost Hills Highway (where James Dean died), Janis Joplin on the radio. “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose…” Signposts and detours are everywhere en route to the unknown, but I was about to discover that the only certainty on this journey is the uncertainty of tomorrow.

Flash forward to now. It turns out I’ve always been driving without a map, indirectly, to exactly where I wanted to go.

A desire to document this life led at warp speed, has been a lifelong constant, regardless of the medium: painting, writing, sculpture. With this blog I intend to give voice to the voices in my head, some of them funny, some tragic, most of them, puzzled, all of them loud. Welcome to The Big Blur Blog.

Cheating clocks

The Big Blur is my personal log of passing time.  Pandemic time, election counting time: you shake like rattle in ...
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To be honest, I don’t mind wearing a mask. In fact, I celebrate this rare opportunity to hide wrinkles.  That no ...
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Starting Point.

I sit before this blank page, impatiently mum. I am the defendant and the judge and jury rolled into one, ...
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To Be Or Not to Be

Building a website is a cross between giving birth to an elephant and having a religious experience.  A lot of ...
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Susan Thacker

Day 61

How many days have I been hiding in the house?  From the kitchen, Alexa answers: since March 15, 2020, 1 ...
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Susan Thacker

Mother’s Day 2020

The last words uttered by the human race probably will be “FUCK!!!!  F-f-f-uuuc ckkkk…”   It’s so ironic. That’s literally how ...
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